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If you are a leader of a business or organizational team, conflict is part of your job description. Most of the time, you may feel like you are pounding your head against the wall as conflicts go on and on, draining you of time and energy.  The problems are exaggerated when you are leading a virtual team in different places and time zones.  Face to face meetings to work things out are even more challenging.  So what if you could build a conflict competent team? What if you could use conflict to innovate, energize, and motivate your team members?  What if you could release the innate energy of conflict into huge productivity gains? My guests are here to tell you just how you can do this.

Craig Runde is the director of program development at the Leadership Development Institute at Eckerd College, St. Petersburg Florida. His colleague, Tim Flanagan, is director of custom programs at the Leadership Development Institute. They have written their second book Building Conflict Competent Teams and are here to discuss with us how successful teams can embrace and explore conflict.

Conflicts on teams are more complex than interpersonal conflicts because there are multiple simultaneous conversations, multiple personalities, multiple communications styles, and  multiple perceptions. Craig and Tim point out that everything in a two person conflict is multiplied many times over in a team conflict.  Becoming conflict competent is therefore essential. Doug asks about leaders or managers that don’t get it. The key, says Craig, is to work with what you have and build conflict competency with those you trust.

 Craig and Tim tell us that there are two fundamental types of conflicts on teams: relationship conflicts and task conflicts.  Relationship conflicts are characterized by disrespect, blaming or blame-storming, and petty power plays.  Task conflicts are characterized by a focus on the problem with the goal of reaching a solution or decision.  The trick is to transform relationship conflicts on teams to task conflicts.

 Leaders of virtual teams whose team members are spread around diverse time zones can build conflict competency with a few simple tools. One tool is to gather the group and ask how it wants to process future conflicts. Create a plan for dealing with both types of conflict. What will be the ground rules?  How do people want to be treated? How will people be held accountable?  Another tool is to create norms around emotional intelligence. Legitimize the fact that everyone has feelings and create open space for those feelings to be acknowledged and validated.  Tim and Doug talk about how important vulnerability is in leadership. Doug points out that in tai chi, being vulnerable allows one to be strong. Tim says the same is true in team leadership.

 Craig summarizes the tools available to leaders in building conflict competent teams: Open a space to discuss conflicts; allow for relationship building; predict the hot topics likely to create conflict on the team in the next 12 months; build conflict competent skills on the team; and develop team agreements regarding conflict.  More information about Tim and Craig’s work can be found at www.conflictdynamics.org.

Filed under: Communication, Conflicts, Inner peace, Office Politics, Principles, Reactivity, Relationships, Triggers, collaboration, competitive advantage, emotional awareness, emotional intelligence, emotional mastery, emotions, leadership, listening, organizational conflict, self-awareness by dougnoll (Check me out!)
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Peacemaking comes in many forms and actions and I am always humbled when I find organizations making a difference in unique and special ways. Although I live only 20 minutes from Ojai, California, I had to travel to Cleveland Ohio to the National Stakeholder Summit for a National Peace Academy to learn about the Ojai Foundation.

My guest, William Perkins Tift, is the Executive Director of The Ojai Foundation.  He is a graduate of Dartmouth College, class of 2000, and comes to The Ojai Foundation from a decade of work in public schools.

William tells us of his journey from south Georgia to New England to New Orleans.  Hurricane Katrina forced William and his wife to relocate to southern California so that she could complete her medical residency.  William heard about the opening for executive director of the Ojai Foundation and found a match. The principal work of the Ojai Foundation is to teach the art of council to school children, to operate a 40 acre retreat center in Ojai, California (north of Los Angeles and south of Santa Barbara), and present workshops and seminars.

The Ojai Foundation was established on the site of a former retreat center created by Theosophist Annie Besant. Joan Halifax founded the Ojai Foundation in 1979 as a place for great thinkers to congregate and share ideas. The form of the retreats evolved into a council, where people would sit in a circle and discuss what they were thinking about. When Dr. Halifax left the Ojai Foundation to form the Upaya Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico, the board of directors narrowed the focus of the foundation to teach the art of council. Jack Zimmerman and Gigi Coyle wrote a book, “The Way of Council,” that became the basis for teaching the art of council.

Council is a way of conversation that requires four intentions by participants: to speak from the heart, to listen from the heart, to be lean with words, and to be spontaneous.

Council is being integrated into schools across southern California and around the world. For students, council is an opportunity to learn to tap into feelings and express them honestly, openly, and respectfully. Parents have given the council process a 97% approval rating, noting that kids learn  to open up, even at the dinner table, instead of maintaining surly silence. For teachers and administrators, council provides a way to connect with the students, find out what is going on with them, and adjust teaching styles, curriculum, and communication to make education more meaningful and relevant.

Currently, over 8,000 students per week participate in council in the Los Angeles Unified School District, and thousands more participate in council across southern California and around the world.

Learning how lead a council is straightforward. The Ojai Foundation conducts 4 levels of training, with each session lasting two days. In addition, the Ojai Foundation trains trainers to spread the art of council around the world. More information can be found at www.ojaifoundation.org.

The Peacemaker’s Bookshelf

For this edition of The Peacemaker’s Bookshelf, I have chosen 112 Ways to Succeed in any Negotiation or Mediation by Steve Mehta. Steve is a colleague of mine in the International Academy of Mediators and a well-respected Southern California mediator.

Steve’s book is a series of short essays, 112 of them, about negotiation. What makes this book so useful is that it breaks the negotiation process down into bite-size nuggets. The book starts with with the common sense idea that you have to become aware of when a negotiation will occur. In other words, being a good negotiator starts with knowing the situations in which negotiation will be necessary. Steve is big on preparation and gives us 18 different essays on the importance of getting ready for a negotiation. As he notes, studies show that prepared negotiators excel in results compared to unprepared negotiators. One of the hallmarks of a skilled negotiator is the degree of preparation before the negotiation. Steve also reminds us that negotiation is about relationships. Part of preparing is gaining as much understanding and knowledge about the relationship you have with the other person as you can.

So often people are frustrated by negotiation because they are not getting what they are wishing for. Steve tells those people to grow up and get real. Great negotiators find out what the other person needs and figures out how to fill that need.  My wishes will not fill your needs.

Step by step Steve takes us through the nuts and bolts of solving problems through various types of negotiations. His book is filled with examples and stories illustrating his points. As a professional, full-time mediator, Steve as seen it all and his experience comes through for us in this delightful, easy-to-read book. If you are new to negotiation, this is a great start. If you are an experienced negotiator, or think you are, this book will have some gems for you to think about.

The book is 112 Ways to Succeed in any Negotiation or Mediation by Stevem G Mehta. It is published by AuthorHouse.

Filed under: Children, Creating connections with children, Family, Teaching peace to, collaboration, listening by dougnoll (Check me out!)
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The mere thought of inviting 500 relative strangers, united by little more than their intense conflict and mutual mistrust around a particular issue to join together for a three day gathering, without a shred of agenda preparation, a small army of facilitators, presenters, scheduled break-out sessions, and the usual control of a large group meeting is, for most people, unthinkable. The suggestion that something productive might occur out of an unplanned, unstructured group meeting to resolve a deep conflict obviously contravenes most of what we have taught and/or learned about meeting management and the care and feeding of hostile groups. Yet that has happened thousands of times around the world with amazing and magical results. My guest Harrison Owen, developed the process now known as Open Space Technology and we will learn about this unique way of solving complex problems from him.

Harrison is president of H.H.Owen and Co. His academic background and training centered on the nature and function of myth, ritual and culture. Harrison came to realize that by listening to stories we come to understand large, complex organizations.

In 1977, Harrison began to explore the culture of organizations in transformation as a theorist and practicing consultant. Harrison convened the First International Symposium on Organization Transformation, and is the originator of Open Space Technology. He is the author of Spirit: Transformation and Development in Organizations, Leadership Is, Riding the Tiger, Open Space Technology: A Users Guide (Second Edition. Berrett-Koehler), The Millennium Organization, Tales From Open Space (editor), Expanding Our Now: The Story of Open Space Technology (Berrett-Koehler),  The Power of Spirit: How Organizations Transform (Berrett-Koehler, 2000) and The Practice of Peace (Human Systems Dynamics Institute, 2003).

Open Space Technology evolved from Harrison’s experiment at the Third International Symposium on Organizational Transformation.  Rather than structure a 5 day agenda for 150 colleagues, Harrison created a simple process that allowed the group to self-organize the conference at the beginning of the conference rather than through a traditional conference planning and organizational process. The results astounded everyone, and the seed of Open Space Technology had germinated.

Open Space Technology is a very simple process. The people are invited to attend to discuss an important issue where there is no clear answer and where passions are high. When the process starts, the people sit in a circle, create a bulletin board of ideas to be talked over, create a marketplace setting the time and place of the discussions, and go to work.  Typically, a group self-organizes itself with two hours.  The single facilitator is responsible for briefly explaining the process, and opening and closing the circle each day. Harrison explains the four principles and one law.  The four principles are descriptive rather than prescriptive. They are: Whoever comes are the right people. Whatever happens is the only thing that could have. Whenever it starts is the right time. When it’s over, it’s over. The law of two feet says that if you are not learning or contributing, go somewhere else. This law makes very clear that each participant is personally responsible for his or her life.

I ask Harrison about the application of Open Space Technology to peacemaking. Conflict, according to Harrison, is the result of two or more passions butting heads. Most people normally do not want to kill each other, but typically do not have the open space necessary to express the conflict in a constructive way. The problem with most peacemaking and conflict management, according to Harrison, is that organizing and managing a complex system is doomed to fail. Since all human systems are inherently self-organizing, peace erupts when the system is allowed to be what it needs to be.

The Peacemaker’s Bookshelf

A few weeks ago, my friends Mark Samuel and Sophie Chiche sent me a copy of their latest book, The Power of Personal Accountability: Achieve What Matters to You. Now that I have read it, I think it belongs on The Peacemaker’s Bookshelf.

Mark is a management consultant and has developed a model of organizational accountability.  In The Power of Personal Accountability, Mark and Sophie take the model and apply it to personal life. The result is a hands-on manual for moving your life from standing still to accelerating forward, no matter what you are doing.  Of course, if you don’t want to accelerate your life and achieve your goals, don’t read the book. On the other hand, if you are looking for a practical, simple to understand set of concepts to help you grow, this book is one you will want to read.

The structure of the book is based on moving from a victim loop of blame and denial to an empowerment loop of intention, recognition, ownership, forgiveness, self-examination, life-long learning, and action. Each chapter describes the concept, illustrates why people have difficulty with the concept, provides tools and exercises to master the concept and tells stories about people who have faced similar problems. The fundamental principle is to be accountable to yourself what you wish to achieve.  The basic take-away is to set goals, create an action plan, and start with small steps. Consistent and persistent movement will lead to larger steps and achievement.

Nothing in The Power of Personal Accountability is earthshaking or new. What makes this book useful is its pragmatic acknowledgment that we sometimes get stuck. The book provides some solvent to get us unglued and moving again so that we can experience a fulfilling and satisfying life, however we might define it. For mediators and peacemakers, the description of the victim loop and the barriers to accountability describe many of the conflict behaviors seen when people fight.  The tools and descriptions can add some depth of understanding and some good language to help people work towards peace when they are at their worst.

The book is The Power of Personal Accountability: Achieve What Matters to You by Mark Samuel and Sophie Chiche. The publisher is Xephor Press.

Filed under: Constructive engagement, Intense Conflicts, change management, chaos theory, collaboration, leadership, listening, peacebuilding, peacemaking by dougnoll (Check me out!)
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Who can forget the contempt and derision that Simon Crowell and his cohorts and the audience of “Britain’s Got Talent” showed to Susan Boyle? If you haven’t seen the YouTube, click here and watch the contempt. How often have we either been derisive and contemptuous of others in similar ways? So, what we can learn about ourselves from Susan’s experience? What we can learn about the roots of the contempt we may feel towards others? What we can learn about the roots of why we may ridicule others because of their appearance? What we can learn about the roots of why we may “hide” within ourselves when others mock us? How we can use the insights we gain from this exploration for true inner healing and bringing our gifts and the gift of ourselves out into our world?

My guest on the June 4, 2009 edition of The Doug Noll Show, Judith Bar, has been a depth psychotherapist in private practice for over 30 years with a Masters in Counseling, national certification and licensure as a Clinical Mental Health Counselor. Through her book Power Abused, Power Healed, her DVD, The Truth About Power, and her many speaking engagements, media appearances and teleconferences, Judith teaches about the misuse and abuse of power in both the healing professions and in all arenas of life and about the vast healing that is possible. Her website is www.powerabusedpowerhealed.com .

Susan Boyle evoked contempt when she first she first walked out on stage for her first appearance in “Britain’s Got Talent.” Judith says that contempt is a defense against our own vulnerability. As children, we have all experienced ridicule, teasing, derision, and contempt from adults and other children. As adults, when we are contemptuous of others, we are defending against those unresolved feelings of vulnerability. The contempt expressed by the audience and judges towards Susan Boyle reflected their own unconscious feelings of injury caused during childhood.

The root of contempt remains buried in our unconscious if not explored, uncovered, and healed by inner work. Since most people do not look at these feelings, defenses around them become embedded in our culture. Judith recites the words to “Rudolph, The Rednosed Reindeer” as an example of how contempt is buried even in Christmas songs. Other examples of how contempt is culturally embedded to defend against vulnerability include comedic insulters, such as the late Don Rickles.

Judith tells us that we cannot manage our feelings. In other words, there is no cognitive, “thinking” way to resolve the injuries around childhood vulnerability.  However, the need to explore and understand these feelings has never been greater.  Judith and Doug talk about how contempt expressed by political and cultural leaders around the world drive conflict. To work through feelings of contempt for others, we have to want to explore those feelings without being angry at others or ashamed of ourselves. We approach the exploration with an open heart and an open mind.

Sometimes, having a skilled therapist who is not afraid of his or her own feelings is useful in the process of inner work. Even the healthiest, highest functioning people can benefit from assistance in looking at their feelings and healing past emotional injuries. The benefit is an inner peace that translates to compassion and tolerance for others.

The Peacemaker’s Bookshelf

My choice off The Peacemaker’s Bookshelf is Discipline That Restores: Strategies to Create Respect, Cooperation, and Responsibility in the Classroom by Ron and Roxanne Claassen. Ron is a leader in the field of restorative justice and was one of my teachers and mentors when I transformed from a trial lawyer to a peacemaker. Roxanne, married to Ron, is a teacher who has applied restorative justice principles in the classroom. Roxanne, unlike many other parents and teachers, says that discipline is one of her favorite aspects of being a teacher because she does not have to punish to get good behavior from her students.

The underlying paradigm of education assumes that the best way to get students to act better is to punish them for misbehavior. Punishment structures are so embedded in our way of thinking that it  usually just happen without anyone giving them a great deal of thought or attention. School discipline systems look a lot like the criminal justice system. What rule was violated? Who violated it? What should be the punishment? Discipline That Restores, based on restorative justice principles, asks different questions: Who was harmed? What are the needs of the people who were harmed? How can things be made as right as possible? How can things be changed to create a better future?

Discipline That Restores works well with students on the edge of despair and who are otherwise marginalized by the system. Of course, it also works well with students who are ordinary, normal kids. It is not easy and requires commitment by the teachers and their administrators. However, Discipline That Restores is ultimately less stressful and more likely to succeed in teaching children how to behave and deal with conflict cooperatively. Discipline That Restores uses conflict and misbehavior to help students learn respect, apply critical thinking, learn cooperative negotiation skills, acquire personal accountability, and learn how to constructively engage with conflict. It is a system that every school teacher and school administrator should be as an effective replacement for the failed policy of punitive discipline. Discipline That Restores could radically change the way that we educate children about peace and conflict in their lives, and, in the process, radically change our lives.

The book is Discipline That Restores: Strategies to Create Respect, Cooperation, and Responsibility in the Classroom, by Ron and Roxanne Claassen. The book is published by Book Surge Publishing.

Filed under: Abuse, Children, Conscious Peacemaking, Disciplining peacefully, Inner peace, Meanness, Reactivity, Self-esteem, Teaching peace to, Triggers, emotional awareness, emotional mastery, emotions, power, self-awareness by dougnoll (Check me out!)
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Gandhi wrote:

 If we are to reach real peace in the world,
We shall have to begin with the children.
And if they will grow up in their natural innocence,
We won’t have to struggle,
We won’t have to pass fruitless ideal resolution,
But we shall go from love to love and peace to peace.
Until at last all the corners of the world are covered.
With that peace and love for which consciously or unconsciously
The whole world is hungering.

The Children’s Global Peace Project is a non-profit organization that empowers children worldwide to transform their challenging emotions and conflicts into healthy self expression and peaceful co-creation. Through experiential games and exercises, multicultural songs, dance, and art, students learn to move beyond prejudice and assumption to realize their potential, their connection to each other, and the global human family. Formed a bit more than a year ago, it is building a global network of schools where every child discovers the power of peace and interconnectedness. Its mission is to help children find peace and strength within, harmony with others, and beauty in diversity. My guests on the May 28th edition of The Doug Noll Show are the founders of the Children’s Global Peace Project are Theresa Tajali Tolan and Kevin Lockwood.

 Kevin explains that schools can provide a neutral ground to teach peace. He sees a paradigm shift occurring from fighting for peace to growing peace from within. The children’s global peace project began when Tajali taught her daughter’s class peacemaking exercises and dances. Kevin and Tajali have learned that peace must be experienced before it can be taught as a skill or mindset. In the Global Peace Project, children learn to talk about what peace is and isn’t in their own lives, then look for the peaceful place within themselves. They co-create a peace banner expressing that inner peace outwardly and the banner is then sent to a corresponding school in another country. The teaching is reinforced by dancing and music.

 Kevin and Tajali tell us that peace comes from the heart, not from the mind. Teaching peace to children is therefore about teaching them to be in touch and aware of their feelings and emotions. When they learn that they are ok when they experience different feelings, they learn that being peaceful is safe. I ask about the teachers. Tajali explains that a large part of the work is training the teachers to be real with themselves and with the children. Kevin points out that in change environments, finding the few champions of the idea is the fastest way to move an organization. They look for the four or five teachers in a school that understand and get the importance of teaching peace. Those teachers then bring the rest of the school along as others see the results.

 The Children’s Global Peace Project operates off of the Universal Dances of Peace and has been able to penetrate into classrooms around the world very quickly. The latest classroom project is in a small Brazilian village and the curriculum has been taught in Uganda, Italy, England, and India, and many other countries. People can become involved in the project by going to the website and signing on as volunteers or providing financial support.

The Peacemaker’s Bookshelf

For this week’s selection off The Peacemaker’s Bookshelf, I picked The Art of the Apology by Lauren M. Bloom. Lauren is an attorney, consultant, and professional speaker and has written one of the handiest books on practical apology I have run across. She advocates that we make apology a much more frequent practice in our day-to-day interactions with family, colleagues, co-workers, and acquaintances. Apology, when sincerely and correctly accomplished, can restore relationships.

 The book is logically divided into action steps that begin with the six essential elements of an effective apology, the importance of some personal reflection before apologizing, the timing of your apology, and the 12 basic ways to blow an apology and make things worse. Lauren also talks about apologizing for unrightable wrongs and in situations where there might be legal liability.

 What I like best about this book are the many action questions that force us to think before we act. For example, why should I apologize? Just thinking about that question sets into motion some thinking about relationships, actions, and consequences. Fundamentally, Lauren advises that you not consider apologizing unless you are willing to think about what will make things right and decide that you are willing to do them.

 She advises that face-to-face apologies have the potential to be the most sincere and also take the most courage. “Go to them,” she advises, “Don’t make them come to you.”  Make the apology sooner rather than later, for as Dan Heist says, “When you realize you have made a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm.” If you can’t apologize, Lauren advises that you not make things worse.  Let it go, be clear about your feelings, don’t backbite, and don’t do anything to escalate a conflict. In other words, try not be reactive or judgmental.

 This is another one of those great little books that belongs on every peacemaker’s bookshelf.  I would even use this to teach a 10 year old the art of apology.  The book is The Art of the Apology by Lauren M. Bloom and is published by Green Angel Media.  Ms. Bloom’s website is artoftheapology.com.

Filed under: Children, Inner peace, International Peace, Teaching peace to, Teaching racial tolerance, collaboration, emotional awareness, emotional intelligence, emotional mastery, emotions, listening, peacebuilding, peacemaking, self-awareness by dougnoll (Check me out!)
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Peace efforts in the United States have been around for a long time. Often the efforts are marginalized by the media and by the culture and society of the moment. After all, peace is not in the headlines and not trendy. Despite this, some organizations have endured to promote the message of world peace. How have they survived? What is their future? Is the goal of world peace utopian, Pollyannaish, or downright stupid. My guest on the May 21, 2009 edition of The Doug Noll Show is a peace activist, peace maker, and peace builder who will help us look at and answer these questions.

Mark C. Johnson, Ph.D., is the executive director of the Fellowship of Reconciliation/USA. He is a 1969 graduate of The College of Wooster in Ohio and earned his doctorate in sociology in 1981 doctorate from Columbia. Mark did alternative service as a conscientious objector in Lebanon, living and teaching in Beirut for six years.

I ask Mark to describe how the Fellowship of Reconciliation was formed. Mark tells us that it began at the outset of World War I in 1914 when an English Quaker and a German Lutheran looked for common ground between two nations at war. In 1915, the Fellowship for Reconciliation/USA was founded. FOR has four major program areas: Supporting peace communities around the world, sending civilian delegations to countries such as Iran to engage in Track II diplomacy, educating young people about alternatives to military service, and nonviolent conflict resolution training.

Mark and I talk about the civilian delegations. Mark says that FOR/USA has sent 12 delegations to Iran in the past 3 years, reachiing out to Iranian citizens to build a grass roots connection for peace and understanding. The most recent delegation included a group of rabbis and was sponsored by the Center for Interfaith Dialogue in Iran. Mark points out that over 25,000 Jewish people live in Iran.

Mark describes the structure of the Fellowship of Reconciliation as a membership organization with 18,000 members in the United States and 500,000 members worldwide. It maintains chapters in over 44 countries. Doug and Mark talk about current problems and opportunities. Mark feels that the signs from the Obama administration are encouraging. He hopes that a reconciliation process can begin in Sri Lanka with the end of the insurrection and the defeat of the Tamil Tigers. He believes that a patient, multi-lateral, multi-partner engagement moving slowly towards engagement and conversation will be the best approach in North Korea.

I ask Mark about generational differences in attitudes towards peace and peacebuilding. Mark says he is encouraged by the interest of young people in the peace movement. The expansion of the Internet has been significant in expanding the efforts of peace organizing and activism and has engaged many young people. People can learn more about the Fellowship of Reconciliation at www.forusa.org and participate in the blog at www.forpeace.net.

The Peacemaker’s Bookshelf

For this week’s edition of The Peacemaker’s Bookshelf, I have chosen The Power to Forgive by Reinhard Hirtler. Reinhard, a church pastor, is originally from Austria, and now lives with his family in North Carolina. He travels internationally to preach a churches and conferences and also works with special needs kids.

The Power to Forgive is a combination of teaching and stories based on Reinhard’s experiences and his knowledge of biblical scripture. The book is full of references to scripture illustrating his points. More to the point, Reinhard understands that forgiveness and healing from deep physical and emotional injuries is a journey of spiritual redemption. It is not an easy journey and it is not a speedy one. As Reinhard sees it, forgiveness is a two step process that begins with a change of heart or, as he describes it scripturally, repentance. He defines repentance as the process of releasing the grudges, resentments, blame, bitterness one may hold towards the offender or even towards God. This is a process of reflection and introspection to understand better why we might hold onto the blame and bitterness we hold against those who have injured us.

 The second step is to make the choice of forgiveness. Reinhard correctly states that “Forgiveness is a choice, but healing is a process.” Reinhard acknowledges that forgiving others for grievous injustices and injuries is difficult. His most compelling argument is accepting that we must forgive ourselves before we can forgive others. The process of forgiveness is a process of letting go. Reinhard uses the symbolism of a helium ballon-write out a statement of forgiveness against an offender on a helium balloon then release it to the sky.

Reinhard describes four steps of forgiveness: (1) Calling things what they are-recognizing and acknowledging our wounds and injuries; (2) Understanding that the love that exists in our lives can help us transcend the injury and injustice; (3) Releasing our ego attachment to the injury or injustice and (4) Being vulnerable, open, and non-defended, even in the face of injury or injustice.

The Power to Forgive will immediately resonate with those who seek wisdom and solace from biblical scripture. For others, the book will reinforce the fundamental processes of forgiveness. In either case, The Power to Forgive by Reinhard Hirtler, is a welcome addition to the depth and breadth of The Peacemaker’s Bookshelf. The book is best purchased from Reinhard’s website, powertoforgive.com.

Filed under: International Peace, Iran, North Korea, Sri Lanka, peacebuilding, peacemaking, politics by dougnoll (Check me out!)
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Those of us who are mediators, peacemakers, and dispute resolution professionals are driven to help people find peace, or at least get their conflict resolved. We all receive deep satisfaction and a huge high when we have witnessed peace being made before us. On the other hand, when resolution is not possible and peace is out of the question, many of us engage in introspection and a bit of gloom-where did I go wrong?  What could I have done better? How come those twits couldn’t get their act together?

What we fail to realize and what is probably apparent to just about everyone other than us peacemakers is that some conflicts are just not going to resolve easily, if at all. From nasty divorces to the enduring Palestinian-Israeli conflict, there is a category of conflict that is defined by its intensity and duration. What do we do about that kind of conflict? Can we help people even though peace seems unlikely? What are the skills and tools that we can bring to bear on these difficult problems?

One of the preeminent peacemakers, mediators, and scholars in the field appears as my guest to help us answer these questions.

Bernard Mayer, Ph.D., is currently a professor at the Werner Institute for Negotiation and Dispute Resolution, at Creighton University in Omaha Nebraska. He is also long-time partner in CDR Associates and is an internationally-recognized leader in the field of conflict resolution. Bernie has facilitated many complex and controversial environmental conflicts, commercial and organizational disputes, interpersonal conflicts, public decision-making processes, and has an extensive background in family mediation as well.

Bernie is the author of many books and articles including The Dynamics of Conflict Resolution: A Practitioner’s Guide,  Beyond Neutrality: Confronting the Crisis in Conflict Resolution, and most recently, Staying With Conflict: A Strategic Approach to Ongoing Disputes.

Bernie begins by stating that the most important conflicts in our lives will tend to be on-going and will not be resolved immediately. Making peace prematurely in these conflicts will do long term harm. Thus, finding ways to constructively engage people becomes an important, if not critical role, for peacemakers.

Bernie discusses with me the concept of constructive engagement. It is really a way of dealing with conflict avoidance and by offering constructive engagement as a possibility, people in conflict are given a choice about how to move forward: They can engage or avoid. Constructive engagement includes broadening the way people communicate with each other, coaching people on appropriate use power and the abuse of power, framing the conflict authentically, helping people find congruency between their values and their behaviors, and providing spiritual, emotional, and psychological support systems to nurture people.

 We talk about different tools and techniques for constructive engagement. I mention that I use respect agreements as an example of how people can agree to deal with disrespectful behaviors.

I ask Bernie about his impression of the Obama administration’s approach to world conflicts. Bernie says that time will tell. However, he is cautiously optimistic that the Obama administration is more nuanced and less polarizing in its approach to world conflicts. Bernie notes that there are huge structural problems in the way of world peace such that no president or Congress, no matter how good, can achieve significant progress in a short time.

We turn our talk to the need for support systems. Bernie points to Northern Ireland as an example of how that worked. At all levels, the need for respite and the need for rejuvenation was apparent. External retreats were established where people could rest and be outside their conflict roles. That process was important in the total peace initiative.

 I asks Bernie if much has changed in the conflict resolution field since his book, Beyond Neutrality, was published. Bernie says that one problem with the field is its image-too many people think that mediators and conflict resolution professionals “Make nice” in disregard to the hard realities of the underlying dispute. Bernie wonders if we move to settlement too quickly in some cases. He advocates that we ask the question, “Is resolution the best result for these parties right now?” Often the answer will be “Yes,” but answer will more frequently than not be “No” as well.

The Peacemaker’s Bookshelf

This week I have pulled off my bookshelf, Women, Power, and the Biology of Peace, by Judith L. Hand. This book makes the argument that the biological differences between human males and females are an important and misunderstood reason for the proliferation of war and violence between human societies. Judith Hand is an animal ethnologist who has studied animal communication. She argues that males, as a group, tend to dominate, seek status, and organize in hierarchies. This tendency is pan-cultural and appears to be genetically encoded in males. In contrast, women, as a group, tend to seek social stability and work through processes of group cooperation and collaboration. This is likewise pan-cultural and appears to be genetically encoded in females.

 The difference between these two approaches lies in evolutionary biology. Women tend to seek social stability because the time and energy investment in raising a child from conception through birth to adulthood is the most expensive investment a human being can make. Long term socially stable environments are advantageous to supporting child rearing and are therefore highly desired. Women will create socially stabile environments where they can and escape from unstable environments when they must. For men, social stability is not as high a priority and, under the right circumstances, will be sacrificed for dominance, status, and hierarchy.

 Hand points out that women can be more aggressive and violent than men. The key is understanding the conditions under which women will fight, and that condition is defense of home and family. In longitudinal studies of wars of aggression, very few women were found to be instigators of war. However, the same studies showed that women were prime movers in conflicts requiring defense of territory, nation, or community. However, without an overt threat to social stability or danger to a family or community, women simply did not take up arms.

 Hand contends, based on the research data available, that creating room for women in regional, national, and world leadership and politics will be a major step towards ending war. Although men may still have the urge to dominate, women, because of their biological imperatives, will be a constraining force on that urge. As a consequence, the need for war should be reduced.

 The book presents an interesting and provocative argument, is easy to read, and is well worth being on any peacemaker’s bookshelf.  It is Women, Power, and the Biology of Peace, by Judith L. Hand and is published by Questpath.

Filed under: Abuse, Communication, Conflicts, Constructive engagement, Intense Conflicts, International Peace, Relationships, congruency between values and behaviors, framing conflicts authentically, power, support systems by dougnoll (Check me out!)
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What if there really is an Afterlife? And what if, in that Afterlife, Albert Einstein discovered the answers to the questions about world peace that so plagued him in life?  What if we could communicate with him today? What would he say to us?

These are provocative and interesting questions that author, speaker, and psychic Barbara With asked and which led to her book, Imagining Einstein: Essays on M-Theory, World Peace, and the Science of Compassion, which has been the winner of two 2007 national book awards.

Barbara With is an International peace activist, an award-winning author, composer, performer, psychi channel, workshop facilitator and inspirational speaker living in La Pointe, Wisconsin and Corpus Christi, Texas. Her website is www.barbarawith.com.

Barbara tells me that her ability to channel began with music composition as a child.  By developing her intuitive abilities, Barbara began to receive information that led to the development of what she calls Conflict Revolution. Barbara says that at the root of most disputes and fights are core issues and triggers. Conflict Revolution is a process of focusing inward to identify, examine, and resolve those core issues.

 Barbara describes for me three intelligences: intellectual, emotional, and intuitive. Conflict Revolution uses intellectual intelligence to better understand emotional intelligence and then uses intuitive intelligence to find solutions.  The secret is to be able to go inside and be present with whatever is there.

Barbara gives me an example of a conflict with a girl friend who stood her up on a Friday night. Barbara describes how she went inside to look at the root of the feelings around betrayal and disrespect and discovered that they originated from a conflict she had caused years before. By recognizing and working through the old conflict, Barbara was able to transform the conflict with her girl friend.

 I ask Barbara about her work and how people can learn more about it. Barbara conducts 1 day workshops on Conflict Revolution and will spending time in Europe teaching. More information about her work, CDs, and books can be found at her website, www.barbarawith.com.

The Peacemaker’s Bookshelf

For this edition of the peacemakers bookshelf. I have chosen a brand-new book called staying with Conflict: a Strategic Approach to Ongoing Disputes by Bernard Mayer. As the field of conflict resolution has grown and expanded its reach, it has increasingly faced the challenge of how to deal with long-term disputes. Mediation, the most prevalent approach, is often inadequate for dealing with conflicts that are reflections of fundamental issues of values, identity, and structure. In staying with Conflict, Bernie Mayer, a pioneer in the field, argues that mediators and peacemakers must move past the idea of how quickly they can resolve the conflict. Instead, they should focus on how they can help people prepare to engage with the issue over time. Once their attention is directed away from a speedy resolution, new avenues of intervention become apparent.

Mayer identifies six strategic challenges facing people in long-term conflict:

·                     To confront the pervasive and destructive power of conflict avoidance.

·                     To work with disputants to construct conflict narratives that encourage an effective approach to long-term disputes.

·                     To assist in developing durable avenues of communication.

·                     To help disputants use power and respond to power wisely.

·                     To understand and recognize the proper role of agreements within the context of long-term conflict.

·                     To encourage the development of support systems that can sustain disputants over time.

In this book, Mayer looks at the nature of each of these challenges and the strategic considerations that conflict specialists need to employ in meeting them. He identifies three roles that mediators play: conflict allies, third parties, and system interveners. Each chapter takes on one of the strategic challenges and develops the ideas, theories and practices that allow for constructive engagement of long-term conflicts. The idea that mediators and peacemakers do not have to resolve conflict in order to be of service is not new. However, Mayer in his typical insightful ways, demonstrates the need for constructive engagement through intervention and the various processes through which it might occur.

For mediators and peacemakers, this new book will be provocative and useful in expanding the practice. The book is staying with Conflict cock: a strategic approach to ongoing disputes by Bernard Mayer and published by Jossey Bass.

Filed under: Conscious Peacemaking, Inner peace, Reactivity, Triggers, emotional awareness, emotional intelligence, emotions, self-awareness by dougnoll (Check me out!)
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You can meet the most amazing people on buses in Cleveland. While attending the global stakeholder summit for the formation of a national peace academy two months ago, I was riding back to my hotel in a bus and started up a conversation with my seat mate. When she started talking about her work, I was amazed.

She asked, “What if we could make war obsolete within one or at the most two decades? What if we could do this because of new insights into human nature as revealed by biologists, anthropologists, and psychologists? And what if the driving force for a future without war was based on enlightened, but selfish, self-interest?” I asked her to appear here and she graciously accepted.

Dr. Judith Hand earned her Ph.D. in biology from UCLA. Her studies included animal behavior and primatology. After completing a Smithsonian post-doctoral Fellowship at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C., she returned to UCLA as a research associate and lecturer. Her undergraduate major was in cultural anthropology. She worked as a technician in neurophysiology laboratories at UCLA and the Max Planck Institute, in Munich, Germany. As a student of animal communication, she has written scientific papers on the subject of social conflict resolution. Her most recent work on social conflict, Women, Power, and the Biology of Peace, addresses the biological differences between women and men with respect to aggression, and specifically with respect to warfare.

I ask Judith to explain the fundamental biological differences between men and women relating to dominance. Judith says that men are focused on status and dominance because these were adaptive behaviors that led to reproductive success. In all human populations, there are some men that have a stronger drive to status and dominance and in the most extreme cases, these men drive other men to war. Women, on the other hand, focus on their children and social stability becomes central.  Social unrest and war are biologically unsuitable to raising children.  Women tend to shun violence and war and seek peaceful ways of maintaining stability.

 A caller asks how women can effect change in the world political structure. She wonders if that means something like unilateral nuclear disarmament? Judith says that the world is undergoing a rapid, unprecedented change in culture. More and more countries are selecting women as heads of state and more and more women are collaborating to end violence. She points to Liberia as an example of a country torn by insurrection that is being brought back by women and led by a woman president. Judith mentions the White House Project and WAND as two efforts to educate young women about how to enter and succeed in politics.

I ask Judith what it will take to end war. Judith says that her website, www.afuturewithoutwar.org, collects all of her thoughts and essays on how we can end war in less than two generations.  Judith says that ending war will be an enormous effort, but entirely possible if there is sufficient will to do so. A caller asks what the single most important factor will be in ending war. Judith says that we have to believe that ending war is possible. Too many people are resigned to the idea that war is inevitable and that belief must be changed.

Judith says that most men do not like war and that nearly all women are deeply opposed to aggression.  However, women are very aggressive defenders of hearth and home and fight more viciously than men when defending. Women, however, will not tend to start wars.

I ask Judith about the 9 cornerstones of peace outlined at www.afuturewithoutwar.org. Judith talks about a few of the cornerstones, which include teaching tolerance, supporting connection, teaching nonviolent collaborative ways of transforming disputes, and spreading democracy.

Judith reiterates that most wars are started by what she identifies at hyper-alpha males, who are typified by their huge impulse to dominate. She theorizes that hyper-alpha males are raised in an environment of violence and lack of love, intimacy, and nurturing. She contrasts hyper-alpha males with more common alpha males. Judith admires alpha males, finding them to be the non-dominating heroes of world cultures.

The Peacemaker’s Bookshelf

For this edition of the peacemaker’s bookshelf. I have chosen WaveRider: Leadership for High-Performance and the Self Organizing World, by Harrison Owen. Harrison Owen is the originator of open space technology, a process of facilitation that allows for organizations and groups to deal with complex problems filled with conflict. In WaveRider, Harrison takes the concepts of open space technology and applies them to leadership. He asks what a self — organizing system would look like if it were led by somebody who had the ability to simply create open space.

 The first half of the book is theoretical. Harrison discusses the holy grail of superior performance and defines what a high-performance system, in his opinion, looks like. He explains why chaos theory and the concept of self-organization is the key to a high-performance system. He points out that most businesses and organizations are created by design. As exhibit one, he points to the omnipresent organizational chart, which is a carefully planned description of how everything works. He also points out the obvious: that most organizations have an informal network structure in order for things actually get done. Harrison points out that this informal organization is actually self organizing, has no leaders, and is usually the most powerful system in any organization.

 Harrison is clear to distinguish between formal leadership and authentic leadership. The formal leadership of an organization is always a matter of title and position and is always predetermined. A formal leader may also be an authentic leader. However, the capacity to exercise authentic leadership is not a function of title or position. Instead it comes from a unique passion and responsibility, which creates a genuine connection of caring.

 This book opens up a new way of looking at leadership and the challenges faced by leaders.  Instead of focusing on management, hierarchy, power, authority, and structure, Harrison contends that the role of leadership is to create open space where people who care can work, create, and solve problems.  The book is WaveRider: Leadership for High-Performance and the Self Organizing World, by Harrison Owen and is published by Berrett Kohler.

Filed under: Abuse, Agricultural culture, Domination culture, Hunter gatherer culture, International Peace, aggression, collaboration, culture, hyper-alpha male, men, power, women by dougnoll (Check me out!)
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 Dave Dionisi is the author of several books and his most recent is American Hiroshima, a book about how to prevent the next 9/11 attack in the United States. Dave started the Teach Peace Foundation to safeguard life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Prior to becoming a full time peacemaker he served as a senior executive with MetLife and DirectAdvice. He has also started successful small businesses in the United States and internationally. Before working in corporate America, Dave served the country as an Army Intelligence Officer. His business and military experiences over the last 27 years are complemented by an extensive background as an international volunteer worker in Asia, Central America, Europe, and Africa. Dave tells Doug that being an effective peacemaker, often requires understanding the tracking of money. In Africa, for example, countries with resources have been in conflict for over 200 years. Countries without resources have seen very little conflict. Doug asks Dave about the use of torture. Dave says that the intelligence community of the United States has used torture for many many years. When he was a military intelligence officer, he was forbidden from torturing people. However, the CIA, well it could not directly torture, could supervise torturers in other countries to do the work. Thus, the United States maintained plausible deniability that it was engaged in torture, although the practice of torture was quite widespread. Dave is seeing a shift in attitudes in both corporate America and within the United States military. As more people are blogging at peace work is critical to prevent war.

Doug asks Dave about the history of the peace symbol. A popular explanation of the peace symbol is that Gerald Herbert Holtom (1914 - 1985) created this symbol on February 21, 1958. At that time Holtom worked with the Direct Action Committee against Nuclear War. Holtom was a dedicated peacemaker and graduate of the Royal College of Arts. It was invented by Gerald Holtom as the badge of the Direct Action Committee against Nuclear War, for the 1958 Aldermaston peace walk in England. It was designed from the naval code of semaphore, and the symbol represents the code letters for ND. The circle, representing the concept of total or complete, surrounds the N and D signifying total or complete nuclear disarmament. The peace symbol is very ancient and has been used as a symbol of violence as well. Dave tells us that the Sarah sends used the symbol as a representation of a broken cross against the Christians and that the 3rd Panzer division of the Nazi German army adopted the symbol.

Segment 3

Mary and Kevin called in to talk about their work with the Teach Peace Foundation. Kevin is actively involved in the African teach peace program, working in Liberia with war orphans, providing livestock to the villages, and teaching peace. Listeners are invited to join the next trip to Liberia by contacting Kevin through the Teach Peace Foundation website, www.teachpeace.com. Dave tells Doug that the teach peace foundation is involved and 20 active programs, including teaching, peace building, direct support, especially in Africa, leadership development, critical thinking, and the African peacemaker program.

Segment 4

The Teach Peace Foundation has established a leadership development program to give high school students an alternative to high school junior reserve officer training programs. Dave says that the high school programs teach blind obedience to young people. Instead, the Teach Peace Foundationprogram teaches leadership through critical thinking. Dave invites people to become involved by visiting the website of the Teach Peace Foundation. He is open to any proposals related to Peacemaking or peace building.

The Peacemaker’s Bookshelf

In this edition of the peacemaker’s bookshelf, I have decided to talk about Open Space Technology: A Users Guide by Harrison Owen. On April 21, 1992, a group of about 225 people gathered in Denver for a two-day meeting to develop corporate arrangements for the effective expenditure of $1.5 billion designated for highway construction on tribal and public lands. Roughly 1/3 of these people were Native Americans, one third were federal bureaucrats, and one third were from state and local governments. On the face of it, prospects for a peaceful, let alone productive, meeting seemed less than bright. The participants were all natural, if not historical, enemies. Within 1 1/2 hours, everything had changed; even the skeptics were hard at work dealing with the issues of personal concern to them.

Thus began the first open space technology meeting. Open space technology is an effective, economical, fast, and easily repeatable strategy for dealing with large group conflict. It has been used in thousands of organizations in over 134 countries. OST enables self organizing groups of all sizes to deal with unusually complex issues in a very short period of time. This step-by-step users guide details what needs to be done before, during, and after an open space event. Harrison Owen describes all the practical considerations necessary to create an open space dialogue.

Open space technology is effective in situations where a diverse group of people must deal with complex and potentially conflicting material in innovative and productive ways. It will not work, however, and therefore should not be used, where the answer is already known, or somebody at a high level thinks he or she knows the answer, or where that somebody is the sort who must know the answer and therefore must always be in charge. OST work superbly if all of the people involved are willing to admit that they just do not know the answer, but nevertheless believe that collectively they have a shot at creating a viable solution.

This is an amazing book about how to resolve complex, multiparty conflicts when the parties to the conflict know they must work cooperatively and collaboratively to transform it. The book is called Open Space Technology: A Users Guide by Harrison Owen. It is published by Berrett Koehler.

Filed under: International Peace, Liberia, Social Responsibility, leadership, peacebuilding, peacemaking, politics, power by dougnoll (Check me out!)
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